First trips base in Valletta or across the water in Sliema, which puts the harbour ferries, the museums and the bus network in reach without a car. Beach holidays go north to Mellieħa and St Paul’s Bay, closest to the sand and to the Gozo ferry. Give Gozo two or three nights for the quiet half of the country. The comfortable months are April to June and September to October, when the sea is warm and the limestone is not.
Fun fact
UNESCO counts 320 monuments inside Valletta's 55 hectares, one of the most concentrated historic areas in the world. The Order of St John planned it in one go on a grid after the Great Siege of 1565, on a peninsula barely a kilometre long, and you can still cross it on foot in about twenty minutes.
Stereotypes, sorted out
The realityThe coast is mostly rock and cliff, and real sandy beaches are a short list in the north. Most swimming here happens off a ladder into a rocky inlet, which is a large part of why the water is so clear.
The realityIt fell into the sea in a storm on 8 March 2017. Dwejra is still worth the drive for the Inland Sea and Fungus Rock, and divers now visit the collapsed arch on the seabed, but the postcard has been out of date for years.
The realityThree inhabited islands, three UNESCO listings and temples built before the pyramids take longer than the map suggests. What is small here is the driving, not the list.
The realityEnglish is an official language alongside Maltese, used in signage, schooling and business. The more interesting fact runs the other way: Maltese is a Semitic language written in Latin script, and it is the only one of its kind in the European Union.
The realityOne bus operator covers both main islands on a rechargeable card. A car earns its keep on Gozo and along the southern cliffs, and it is a liability in Sliema and Valletta in August. Traffic drives on the left.
Cultural notes that actually help
- Village festas run from late May into September, and the fireworks are the point. Ask which village is celebrating the weekend you are there.
- Sunday lunch is the fixed meal of the week and the good places fill early. Book it.
- Churches expect covered shoulders and knees, and there are a great many churches.
- English is official, but a greeting in Maltese lands well. Bonġu in the morning, saħħa on the way out.
- Tipping is light. Round up, or leave about a tenth when the service earned it.
- Traffic drives on the left and the streets are narrow. Check the direction twice before stepping off a kerb.
- August is when the country slows for the heat. Put the walking in the morning and the evening.
Famous Maltese faces
Joseph Calleja
Dom Mintoff
Agatha Barbara
Daphne Caruana Galizia
Eddie Fenech Adami
George Borg Olivier
Oliver Friggieri
Francis Ebejer
Ira Losco
Destiny Chukunyere
Joseph Calleia
Michael Mifsud
Roberta Metsola
Edward de Bono
Dun Karm Psaila
Temi Zammit
Antonio Sciortino
Richard England
Giuseppe Calì
Must-try Maltese food
Stuffat tal-fenek
The national dish: rabbit slow-cooked in tomato and red wine, with pasta in its sauce.
Aljotta
Fish soup with garlic, tomato and rice, built from whatever came in that morning.
Kinnie
The bittersweet soft drink of bitter oranges and wormwood, made here since 1952.
Cisk
The local lager, and the default order at any bar on the island.
Bragioli
Beef olives, thin slices wrapped around breadcrumbs and egg, then braised in wine.
Soppa tal-armla
Widow’s soup, a vegetable broth with a fresh cheeselet dropped in at the end.
Kapunata
The Maltese answer to ratatouille, sweet and sour, eaten warm or cold.
Timpana
Baked macaroni sealed in pastry and cut into slabs.
Ross il-forn
Baked rice with mince and egg, the Sunday-lunch sibling of timpana.
Ġbejniet
Small sheep’s or goat’s milk cheeselets, eaten fresh, dried, or rolled in cracked pepper.
Pastizzi
The diamond-shaped pastry, ricotta or mushy peas, sold hot from a hatch.
Ftira
The ring-shaped Maltese loaf, split and loaded with tuna, olives and capers.
Ħobż biż-żejt
Crusty bread rubbed with tomato and olive oil, then piled high.
Qassatat
The round cousin of the pastizz, with the same fillings and a softer pastry.
Lampuki pie
The autumn fish pie: dorado baked under pastry with spinach, olives and capers.
Stuffat tal-qarnit
Octopus braised slowly in red wine and tomato, usually with peas.
Grilled lampuki
Dorado, in season from late summer into autumn, simply grilled and lemoned.
Imqaret
Deep-fried date pastries, best eaten hot from the van that fried them.
Kannoli tal-irkotta
Ricotta cannoli, the Sicilian original with a Maltese hand on the filling.
Kwareżimal
An almond and citrus biscuit eaten through Lent, made without fat or eggs.
Figolli
Almond-filled Easter biscuits, iced and cut into shapes.